Tuesday, October 17, 2006

19 Days and Counting

A version of this piece appeared on OpedNews.com


Doctor, please help me.

I’ve stopped reading books, cast aside my guitar, stuffed my gym shorts, unused, in my bedroom chest of drawers.

I’ve missed most of the baseball playoffs, muffed scheduled meetings at school, mistaken the Internet for my best friend.

My back is sore, my eyes watery from bending over my computer screen, scrolling through articles from the Cleveland Plain-Dealer to the Kalamazoo Gazette, perusing poll after poll for some deep, hidden meaning.

Did you know that in Tennessee, Harold Ford leads his Republican rival for Senate by a .8 percent aggregate? Is that statistically significant? Oh-oh. The latest Rasmussen poll in Missouri shows Democrat Claire McCaskill has fallen behind. Surely another poll is on the way. I’ll check back -- at 10:11, 2:09, 4:27, 8:36 and right before bed.

Bed. I have a wife, I think. She said something about a hug the other night.

“Be right there, sweetie. Just have to check the political landscape.”

I should be done in 19 days. Nov. 7.

Election day. Another chance for euphoria … or more misery. Maybe, just maybe, this year will be different. Maybe the Democrats, our lovable wishy-washy Democrats, will actually win something. The pundits are saying so. Even Republican pundits are saying so. Which is exactly why I am so worried.

Could it really be that the American heartland will see beyond the unprecedented – and, of course, entirely coincidental -- drop in prices at the gas pump? Could it be they kind of, sort of realize that the world is a mess? That North Korea just tested the big one. That Iraq has come unglued. That Afghanistan is blowing up. No, probably not I’d imagine, if they’re listening only to George. Because George, by George, is gonna stay the course, spread Democracy, hang tough and true to our friends.

Stay the course. Does that mean more 700-mile walls along the 2,000-mile Mexican border (help me with math here, please)? A better missile defense system that keeps the bad guys’ bombs out? More laws to torture and lock up terror suspects without any legal recourse? I guess if none of it works, we can always try a little bit of faith-based prayer in the classroom.

Doctor, can you prescribe a vacation? How about 20 days in Togo or anyplace without technology. I’ve heard the Amazon jungle is swell this time of year. I'll come back Nov. 8.

The other night, I woke at 4 a.m. and peeked at the computer. Oh, oh. Democrat Bob Casey’s lead had slipped in the Pennsylvania Senate race, a new poll shows. And he’s running against a certified Neanderthal: Rick Santorum, third-ranking Republican in the U.S. Senate leadership, a man who has publicly compared homosexuality to bestiality.

But wait, was that a Brookings Institute scholar I just heard say on NPR that the Democrats could gain more than the 30 House seats? (Will it be partly sunny tomorrow?) Ouch.

Did you read the New York Times article today, the one that says some people STILL love Darth Vader. (“Cheney Hits Heartland, and He Can Feel the Love.”) So what does that mean? I guess it’s only in Kansas, doctor. I’ve heard it’s a last bastion for girls named Dorothy, witches, right-wing Republicans, and state police who make you drive 55 over every 2,432 miles of flatland. The heck with Kansas. It’s big. But it’s boring.

Tell me, though. Do you think it’s possible Nebraskans like him, too?


Blogger Xiaozhengmm 123 said...

2015-7-23 xiaozhengm
gucci outlet online
gucci outlet
ray ban wayfarer
ralph lauren uk
ray ban glasses
cheap ray ban sunglasses
air max 95
true religion
toms outlet
christian louboutin outlet
cheap ray ban sunglasses
ralph lauren outlet
louis vuitton pas cher
chanel handbags
nike air force
michael kors outlet online
borse gucci
ray bans
polo ralph lauren
ralph lauren outlet
oakley sunglasses
coach factory outlet
oakley sunglass
rolex watches
coach factory outlet
fitflops outlet
ray ban sunglasses
cheap jerseys
mont blanc pen
michael kors outlet
michael kors
jordan uk
fitflops sale clearance
coach outlet store online
burberry outlet
nike blazer
michael kors uk
replica watches
ray ban outlet

10:09 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

oakley sunglasses, longchamp outlet, nike free, burberry, tiffany and co, nike air max, louis vuitton outlet, prada outlet, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet, ugg boots, louboutin, chanel handbags, ugg boots, louboutin shoes, tiffany jewelry, christian louboutin outlet, louboutin outlet, louis vuitton, ray ban sunglasses, uggs on sale, nike outlet, nike air max, cheap oakley sunglasses, tory burch outlet, louis vuitton, polo ralph lauren outlet, jordan shoes, kate spade outlet, oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, michael kors, replica watches, ray ban sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet, ugg boots, ugg boots, burberry outlet online, replica watches, michael kors outlet, longchamp outlet, gucci outlet, prada handbags, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, longchamp, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet

6:35 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

coach outlet, nike roshe run, hollister pas cher, air force, air max, ray ban uk, mulberry, nike air max, michael kors, sac guess, lacoste pas cher, timberland, sac longchamp, hogan, michael kors, hermes, nike air max, true religion jeans, abercrombie and fitch, kate spade handbags, new balance pas cher, coach outlet, ray ban pas cher, nike free, burberry, hollister, true religion jeans, vanessa bruno, true religion jeans, ralph lauren pas cher, tn pas cher, air jordan pas cher, ralph lauren uk, nike roshe, michael kors, converse pas cher, lululemon, vans pas cher, true religion outlet, nike air max, north face, oakley pas cher, coach factory outlet, louboutin pas cher, nike blazer, longchamp pas cher, nike free run uk, north face, michael kors, coach purses

6:40 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

pandora jewelry, canada goose, moncler, supra shoes, louis vuitton, moncler outlet, louis vuitton, sac louis vuitton pas cher, replica watches, lancel, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, juicy couture outlet, michael kors outlet, moncler, louis vuitton, karen millen, hollister, toms shoes, canada goose uk, swarovski, barbour jackets, barbour, canada goose outlet, moncler, ugg pas cher, michael kors handbags, moncler, pandora jewelry, doudoune canada goose, canada goose outlet, bottes ugg, marc jacobs, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, michael kors outlet online, wedding dresses, swarovski crystal, canada goose, moncler, canada goose, moncler, moncler, thomas sabo, montre pas cher, louis vuitton, links of london, ugg boots uk, pandora charms, pandora charms, doke gabbana outlet, juicy couture outlet, coach outlet, canada goose

6:41 PM  
Blogger chenlina said...

coach outlet online
replica watches
longchamp bags
adidas running shoes
kids lebron shoes
ray ban sunglasses outlet
coach outlet online
fitflop sandals
louis vuitton outlet
lebron james shoes 13
polo ralph lauren
kate spade outlet
coach factory outlet
tiffany and co
abercrombie and fitch new york
ralph lauren polo
kate spade handbags
oakley sunglasses
jordan retro 3
louis vuitton outlet
ray ban sunglasses
insanity workout
ghd hair straighteners
ray ban sunglasses
cheap oakley sunglasses
polo ralph lauren
louboutin shoes
christian louboutin shoes
nike factory outlet
burberry bags
pandora outlet
louis vuitton outlet
coach canada
celine bags
jordan 3 white cenment
louis vuitton outlet
ralph lauren
michael kors outlet
jordans for sale
michael kors outlet online

5:33 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home